I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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