on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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