I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
