I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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