Dual....:-)
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
