Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
