Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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