What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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