Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
