lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
