Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
