is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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