I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize