Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
