how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
