Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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