I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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