I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
