No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
