Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
