I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
