I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
