If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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