i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
