don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I got inside last night via doggy door
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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