My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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