Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
