pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
