You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We are all done wearing pants today
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
