Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
