Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
dude. I can hear the air.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
