ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
