He had one of those small greek statue penises
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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