Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
