Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
In America we eat man semen.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
