im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
