is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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