Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
