Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize