dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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