why didn't you poke me back
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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