so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
