big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
