What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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