Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
