There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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