you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
