wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
