ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
