I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
