Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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