Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
that is very illegal...i love you.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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