A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
4 words: hood of his car
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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