I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
