Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
this boner is exhausting
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize