areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
