Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
