i jhust puked up my retainher.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
