ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
