How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
