I'm drive I can fine osifer
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Randomize
