You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
