garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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