Have you finally orgasmed yet?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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