yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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