Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
