I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
