Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
