what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize