everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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