hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
