The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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