I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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