what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
