she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
