I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
